That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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