my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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