Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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