i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
