I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
This is the high leading the old right now
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I still have a little drunk in my system
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
