It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
