Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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