I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
