I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
