I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
