just tell him i said nine months
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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