Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
