these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
