At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
