She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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