I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
im holly from the hills drunk
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
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