I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
