The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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