just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
