I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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