did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
