I'm gonna have a badass scar
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
