like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
