I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
