He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
where are you?
Hypothermia
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I want to be your penis for a week.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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