so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
