He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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