Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
