I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
