ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
no you cant smoke seaweed
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
