when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
