genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
