i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
