i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
