i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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