I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
