hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
