Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
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