You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
