That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
