How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
