I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
