And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
