i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
