I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
