Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
