somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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