nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
