We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
