How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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