Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
