i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
