A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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