a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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