when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
