the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Holy shit dude........stairs
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
